Hi. I'm Jessica.
Maybe things are as complicated for you as they were for me. Maybe your person hurt you and you feel angry, betrayed or rejected sometimes.
Maybe you feel like you failed your loved one somehow. Guilt and regret can show up.
I've been there.
In my own journey I've discovered gentle and effective ways of moving through the complexity of grief. They've helped me integrate my sorrow. They've helped me laugh at the utter absurdity of things. They've me helped turn despair into meaning.
Your grief experience is a sacred rite of passage. It's all yours — even if you seek guidance and companionship along the way.
Having the right support can help. I've worked as a teacher, caregiver and coach. Now, I offer mentoring to people as they mourn.
As a fellow griever...
I know that hope shows up when you feel safe and seen. Fear and loneliness can kneecap you when you don't.
As a writer...
I know that the story you tell —even the one inside your head— impacts your whole world. You can't always control your circumstances, but you make your story.
We shouldn't let just anyone hold our stories.
If I’m going to bare my soul to someone, I want to know that their empathy is genuine,
and that they’re not trying to "fix" me.
I want to know that the person I'm trusting has done their own inner work.
All my life, people have confided in me. I felt honoured by that, even before I knew what to do with the secrets of a stranger I met on the bus.
Over the years, I've studied the healing craft of deep listening. I've seen power of integrating feelings and experiences.
If you’re curious, I'm happy to regale you with my resumé. For now, I'll show you who I am by inviting you to share something of my own real life. If you're widowed or a single parent, or if your heart has been broken, maybe your story is already acquainted with this facet of mine.
Each of the buttons below links to an account of what happened after my husband's sudden death. The essays (and podcast) are all hopeful, but they're far from neat and tidy. I've raged. I've fucked up and tried to make amends. I've cried — a lot. I'll probably cry when I hear your story, too.
This stuff is moving. That's kind of the point.
You are already living into your new reality. From this point on, it’s all about you and the person you're about to become…